A New Way of Being

When I first applied to USM, I had a goal that was hard for people to grasp: I wanted a new way of being in the world.

Last November I bemoaned the fact that I didn’t have it yet and expressed my fear that the second year of USM was too short for me to attain that goal. Only seven months left to transform myself into a new way of being in the world. My Inner Pessimist was sure “it’ll never happen.”

Last week, I got a chance to see that I am actually experiencing a different way of being in the world.

My friend Analia and I were going to see Maya Angelou speak at Chico State Tuesday evening. We talked midday to confirm our date and to set up dinner plans, but we both had too many loose ends and neither of us was ready to commit to a specific time and place for dinner. Analia, whom I tease mercilessly about never answering her phone, assured me, “I’ll be home all afternoon and I will answer my phone when you call.”

I called her at 4pm, no answer. I called her at 5:30 pm, no answer.

I was putting a frozen burrito into the microwave for my dinner at 5:55 when the phone rang. It was Analia, apologizing profusely, expecting me to be upset and angry with her. I wasn’t angry with her at all. She gradually calmed down, telling me that her other friends would have been so mad at her for not taking their calls. Two years ago, I probably would have been mad at her but not admitted it to her. A year ago, I would have been a bit frustrated and might have mentioned it. But tonight I wasn’t the least bit upset. Tonight, I just laughed and told her that I knew we would eat that night and that I knew we would see Maya Angelou that night and I knew that all the details would take care of themselves. This was my first clue that I wasn’t “being” like my former self.

We agreed to have a quick dinner at her place (I’d bring my burrito) and then walk to the theater. After goodnight hugs and kisses for Chris and the kids, I drove across town toward Analia’s house. About a mile away, I realized that I had forgotten my purse with the tickets in it. I turned around, thinking “This isn’t like me…”

When I arrived at Analia’s, I apologized for being late, telling her that I had forgotten my purse with the tickets.

We chatted, ate some dinner and left her house with 40 minutes to complete the ten minute walk. We were relaxed and having a good time. Two blocks from her house, Analia asked me, “Do you have the tickets?” I started laughing out loud. I’d forgotten my purse again! As we turned around, I thought, “This really isn’t like me…” At her driveway, we were distracted and stopped to watch a group of really cool ants for a few minutes. I was reminded that I had started a new book that morning called “Animal Omens” all about what it means metaphysically when different kinds of animals show up in your life. I remembered the ants’ message was to share your gifts with the community.

We started off again, purse and tickets firmly in hand. At the end of the block, we saw two women posting “lost cat” fliers on the telephone pole. Eyebrows raised, I looked at Analia and said, “This is why I kept forgetting my purse!” We started talking to the mother and her college-aged daughter about their cat. I told them that I was psychic. Before the words were even out of my mouth, the mother, Nancy, shoved the flier at me.

I looked at the picture of the black cat, closed my eyes, and asked the cat’s name. When the daughter told me “Blanca,” I had to open my eyes and say “Ironic!” to Analia. Eyes closed again, I connected with Blanca, and I could tell that she was okay and not too stressed. I saw her view of an orange house with an orange picket fence. It was on a northwest corner of a street.

As I shared the information, I looked around for the house, but couldn’t see it. I re-connected with Blanca, asked for map, and got an aerial view of the neighborhood. I saw that Blanca was one block south and one block east of us. Curiously, I got a warm feeling emanating from that direction. I shared the info again and Nancy and her daughter set off in the direction I had indicated.

Once again, Analia and I began our walk to Chico State. We made it to the theater right on time. Maya Angelou was fabulous, funny, and inspiring.

The next day I received an email from Nancy saying “Cara, I am the mother of the young woman with the lost cat last evening. You were right, we found her. Just where you directed. We knocked on doors and called to her. I felt a warm area and encouraged my daughter to call her friend. Kitty Blanca didn't come out right away. After I left for home Acacia went back out on her bike calling her. Blanca came running. Pure magic is the only way I can describe running into you and your friend. Pure gratitude is what I feel for you helping my daughter on the spot. Thank you.”

I reflected on all the little “coincidences” that added up to me running into Nancy and her daughter at just the right moment. If they had been at that corner five minutes earlier or later, we would have missed them. If I had remembered my purse the first time I left my house, we would have missed them. If I had remembered my purse the first time we left Analia’s house we would have missed them. If Analia had answered her phone that afternoon, we might have made plans to eat at a restaurant that night and we would have missed them.

But we were in the flow of life. I took all the usual “inconveniences” of the day in stride, without getting upset. I was being different in the world than I had been in the past. Maybe, just maybe, two years is long enough to transform myself into a different way of being in the world.